In Love With Your Memory

I rang you up,
Not so long ago,
Got your number from your sister,
She said ring any time.

I've been waiting six years,
Day by day,
Wondering where you are,
What you look like.

I love you,
It takes the world on my shoulders,
I got used to living without you.
I always said when we were younger,
That we would one day be man and wife.

I guess I was in love,
With your memory.

Maybe we'll be together,
But I don't see it soon,
You don't remember me,
And you aren't who I remember.

I don't see things going back,
To how they once where.
Long days running in field,
Laughing in a childish way.

I love you,
I know I do.
But I love the old you,
And I can't find any more love for you.

This is not who I remember,
This boy stood in front of me,
A searching look on his face,
Desperately trying to drag up a memory.

Any memory.

We sit,
We talk,
I tell you all I remember,
And then the time strikes for the goodbyes.

I hug you tight,
Never wanting to let go of this hope I've carried a third of my life,
But I can feel it slipping it away,
The way your holding onto me,
Makes me know you want to know me...

But I know I'm a stranger to you.

We say goodbye,
You walk away,
Saying something about,
How we will keep in touch.

But even as you say it,
I just know,
That I'll probably never see you again,
Except for maybe a brief encounter at a shop.

I whisper goodbye,
As a tear slides down my face.
But not to you,
But to the young boy I remember.

The one who got excited about lego with me,
Who would hug a tree just to see me smile,
I say goodbye to the boy who died that day I waved goodbye at the school gates,
Promising to see him again after the Easter holidays.

I say goodbye to the boy who got cross and went bright red,
The one who made me feel special, one-of-a-kind,
I say goodbye to the dark curly haired boy,
Who now only lives in my dreams and memories.

I say goodbye to the boy I love,
My first love,
My childhood romance,
The boy who lived next door.

I should say thank you I suppose,
For I left you without a reason nor warning.
Moved away and out of your life.
I should thank you for teaching me to never do that again,
To never leave my loved ones waiting for me.

So goodbye and thank you,
I whisper to myself,
As I walk through the rain back home.
I thought I loved you,
But I guess,
I was in love,
With your memory.